Ethics is a subtopic of Philosophy, and since I've never taken a philosophy class, I hadn't thought much of the kind of content I was getting myself into. Turns out, philosophy encapsulates everything I ever want to know (but technically never truly will). It is a subject of only questions and ideas of answers, but those that are never certain. My prof explained that we'd be exploring the different theories of morality. What is good? What is right? Where do good and right originate from? Is it something that preexisted and humanity just discovers? Or is it something that humanity created to give meaning?
I started to laugh.
I may be insane because I've never felt so overstimulated in my entire life. This might sound crass, but the lecture induced a high. It felt terrifying, but so satisfying. I was so open to knowing more about what ancient philosophers came up with, but in the end there is no certainty. And I am definitely not in any place to say what is more correct - just like anyone else. I understood there to be a constant turmoil among philosophers and theories - something that will never unfold...only questioned further. I'm just sitting there - dumbfounded and thinking how ridiculous I've been, my entire life, until this moment. I thought I had everything pretty much figured out about life. It turns out, I'm pretty naive for truly believing I knew as much as I did.
And then I learned about one story's idea of the meaning of life. Prof introduced the story of Gilgamesh - he concluded with the moral of the story: mortality. The human condition. Life, as we know it, is temporary - no matter what.
I laughed again.
Prof explained that it is a common belief that the goal of life is to reduce pain in this short-lasting period of "becoming" or living - because pain and suffering is inevitable in this world as understood by everyone who has ever lived.
Kept laughing.
And I felt he was almost laughing with me. Throughout the entire lecture he was smiling. He seemed insane, too. And I knew why... It is very disturbingly amusing to try and see outside our own little worlds. Our own little society-dependent lives full of day-to-day drama, politics, economics, technology, etc. These extensive, detailed systems and routines we've created for ourselves are all we see. Not to say that anyone is bigger than anyone else; but maybe some see or understand a wider scope. And the more grand your view is, the more insane you are. [Just kidding.] But really, this class is basically trying to fit a universe of ideas into a four-walled room with florescent lighting. The man was insane.
I was laughing because I was uncomfortably excited to find out how small I am. Not that I am meaningless, but that I am mortal. Not that life is meaningless, but that I endure the human condition - as we all do. And I'm certain that the rest of this class will be six weeks of this pleasurable discomfort. More laughter.
We learned a bit about Buddhism, and I definitely want to further delve into its beliefs and practices. I've already found truths helpful to the things going on in my smaller world.
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